If I were a musician, my target audience would be kids. You think I’m joking? I can easily list five reasons why making children’s music is as innovative as sticking a feather in your hat and calling it macaroni.
If I were a musician, my musical instrument would be the triangle. Not only is the triangle highly prestigious, but it’s also a great way to pick up chicks. Mastering the triangle lets the ladies know you can hit all the right spots — if you know what I mean. You’re probably wondering, “What smoking hot babes go to kids concerts?” The MILFs, of course. No, they are not a band.
If I were a musician, I would go on tour around the world — or at least tour the places where my music is popular. I can think of two places off the top of my head: the local preschool and Japan. Yeah that’s right, I’m big in Japan.
If I were a musician, I would drop out of school. No more tests, papers, or gum from under my desk sticking to my jeans. I would finally be able to focus on my passion — making kids music with a triangle to attract MILFs in Japan.